(yes, I ’stole’ this picture from Pat’s blog…now I know how you all feel :( )

OK. Save a few pick-pocketing incidents in India back in the 90’s ( and someone five-fingering the bike light off my bike last year), I haven’t been touched by robbery. Until last night…

Wait, I understand. It’s a desperate part of the year; pressure to stay warm, have money for food and presents for the kids. Still, I wish they had just asked for my wife’s antique wedding ring or my laptop–instead of breaking in and taking it. GRrrrrrr.

Coming home to my house with the front door open…and the basement door open…and only the incandescent light in the house turned on (they aren’t even sustainably minded robbers! all the rest are compact fluorescents)…it’s sublime. Surreal. One is not sure it’s a robbery.

We’d just returned a week before from our Thanksgiving trip to the snowbird in-laws in Tucson (by the way, I love my in-laws–they rock :) ), so the mess and unpacking-in-progress is a normal sight.

Wait. It isn’t. I usually leave the dresser drawers open; and Deb reminds me to close them. Wait, I ‘ve been doing better and remembering too….close…them…why are they ALL open? And…wait…all the cords are pulled out…laptop? Hard drive? Oh no. Oh $%^&! “Deb call the police. Eli, stay outside…don’t touch anything”.

Then the cold-sweat hits…all the passwords/logins/bank account info I have on the older laptops they took. Doh! Login, change it, what’ll my new password pattern be. Then I canceled all the credit cards. Damn–not before the dorks actually bought something with them at Circle K and McDonald’s. These guys/gals were not “Ocean’s 11″ caliber thieves…

Never have I had such respect for the Eugene PD–the officer came in (actually lives in our neighborhood), concerned but light-hearted. She pulled fingerprints, listened to our stressed out story. Thank you officer. I forget your name already, but thank you.

Ok. That’s what a robbery is like in Eugene, Oregon.

Here are the ways to avoid it. Make (better) connections with your neighbors and watch each other’s houses. Find a stick/pole for each window and sliding glass door. Lock the windows. Get a ferocious sounding dog (Simba was with us at the time of the break in) and keep them inside while you’re gone. And leave two lights on inside, and one on outside.

The neighbors saw a strange car pull into their driveway…so maybe they were to be next. You could be, too. If you see a light colored compact car driving slow, and the driver is wearing a diamond ring on their pinky, and wearing a antique batmitzvah pin–and holding a whole bunch of old Windows 98 software (dumber than dumb), let me know. I have an early present for them–no retribution: just the leftover receipts, warranties, and appraisal papers that go with the items.

Ok. Let’s be careful out there…